Hamburgers

Preparation

1. Bland

   Step 1

   Mix any of the following seasonings in with the ground meat at a rate of roughly 1 to 2 teaspoons per pound: ground allspice, celery seed, cumin, garlic powder, nutmeg, oregano, or sesame seed.

   Step 2

   If the hamburgers are already cooked and you want to do something more inspiring than drowning them in store-bought hamburger sauce (ketchup), here are a few inspirations for covering them: bacon crumbles, guacamole, pizza sauce, shredded cheddar cheese mixed with chopped walnuts, raisin sauce, curry sauce plus chutney, sautéed onions, sour cream plus horseradish, a mound of diced stuffed green olives, or chili plus sliced black olives.

2. Stuck to fingers

   Step 3

   Dip your fingers in cold water first and raw meat won’t stick to them while you’re molding meatballs or sculpting replicas of the Venus de Milo, or whatever it is you do with ground round